We have all seen em, watched em, talked about them amongst family & friends alike and even hated and liked them. Infomercials. Perhaps, you, like me, have even indulged once or twice to purchasing one of these 'As Seen On TV' products. I have been found guilty of purchasing such items as Dr. Ho's Muscle Massager (sends a ever soothing electrical pulse to the ab muscles creating the biggest idiot walking around with a velcro belt on, you!) or the Ab Doer, a chair that swivels around in many directions as you loose 1400lbs in just 30 seconds a day by sitting in a mini chair looking like a knucklehead just for buying the lamest product out there or perhaps you too have found the chills late at night so frustrating and just couldn't get relaxed all tangled up in that constrictive blanket that grandma knit for you which apparently according to the makers of Snuggie act like a straight jacket, or maybe you are deaf and need the Whisper 2000. This little tiny device looks like and resembles a Bluetooth wireless phone that attaches to your ear yet can deliver up to 9000 decibels just by cranking her up at full tilt so you can listen to birds, snakes, ghosts, farts, space transmissions or whatever the hell else they claim it can do. For you ladies, maybe you have bought the Bumpit from these late night scammers. A hair accessory for your hair that creates the illusion you worked feverishly for hours doing your hair and giving you the most ridiculous Wilma Flintstone hair look ever on your block.
Ok, so I am not saying that these products do not work, nor that they do work. And as I get off track here, let me take you back to what I am getting at. The Sham Wow. The Slap Chop, more precisely the man who endorses the product himself on TV, Vince Shlomi. The hyped up (probably coked out) endless ball of energy of a man who never seems to take one breath in between his sales pitch to us over the 'greatest products' on earth besides Rogaine and Viagra. Or was that sliced bread? Hmmm, whatever the case. Who is this guy? What's his background? Is he real or just an animated string bean who wears the best of what WalMart has to offer that week in T shirts? Well folks, get your cup of java ready, your favorite beer, your tastiest treat and let me lay it on you. I did the research on this clown. Here is the lowdown.
Offer 'Vince' Shlomi was born in Haifa, Israel on April 26th 1964. The man is a director, writer and a comedian. The first anyone ever seen of him was in 1999 comedy film called The Underground Comedy Movie which turned out to be a bust. He sued film makers saying that 14 scenes from the Farrelly Brothers film There's Something About Mary were adapted from his film Underground Comedy Movie. Shlomi also sued Anna Nicole Smith for breach of contract. He claimed that Smith agreed to be in Underground Comedy Movie, but backed out because she was afraid it would hurt her career. I didn't know Anna had a career. He is also a former member of The Church of Scientology, maybe Tom Cruise can teach him a few acting tricks? Shlomi apparently sued the Church for libel in 2004. I have not been able to find out what the outcome was of that.
Enter 2006. The infomercial was filmed in 2007. An absorbent towel he saw at a flea market which he dubbed, the ShamWow sparked the whole idea. The commercial was originally slated has having Vince saying the product held 20 times worth it's weight in liquid. Then re did the commercial saying it held 12 times it's weight, then finally re did to say it only holds really 10 times it's weight. Which apparently, ten is the most it can really adsorb. I won't get into any details of his second pitch, The Slap Chop for fear of my fiancee and her retaliation as she owns, well, not quite the Slap Chop, but a knock off which is deadly close to it in every way minus the name. And let's be honest, the couch sucks for sleeping on and she does read my blogs. With that said, let's move on shall we?
Here is the kicker folks...Vince, on February 7th, 2009 was arrested. Felony battery on a 26 year old prostitute. While in Miami Beach, FL while he was staying at the hotel Setai, an upscale $750 a night room where in the nightclub, he met Sasha Harris, 26
who accompanied Vince to his room. Vince admitted he paid Harris $1000 after she propositioned him for straight sex. Upon commencing of the kissing, she bit his tongue and wouldn't let go. 
Vince, being the nice guy he is obliged her by punching her several times in the face where Harris sustained facial fractures and lacerations all over her face at 4am. 
After releasing his tongue, Vince ran to the Setai lobby when the hotel security called for the cops to show. Turns out, Harris was not very cooperative with police and the cops says both parties reeked of alcohol. Bear in mind, Harris was also charged for battery on him. I have posted the actual copies of the police reports below.
Well folks, I hope this was as exciting for you to read as it was for me to type. I should be going I suppose, 4:30 am came quicker than I expected....now, what's on TV?
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