A New Dawn

Tomorrow marks the first day of my new job in the north. Hotel Desk Supervisor at the Siniktarvik here in Rankin Inlet. This isn't a big role, although it carries many duties to the role it is a good start for Melissa and I. We had been hoping CIBC which hired me a few months ago would have been our big ticket in the north to making headway financially up here would work out until I quit that gig. Not the smartest move, but I was very unhappy in what I was doing and was miserable doing it. That was just in the first 3 weeks. After the 4th, decided to leave.

The Siniktarvik offers lot's of room for advancement and a fairly decent offer was put before me after helping them out with security work over the holidays that consisted of me doing that during the nights. Sacrificing our holidays to see what if anything, would come out of the security stint, I did it. Glad I did, as I will be once again, working full time and hope everything works out well for us. Training begins this week, on board fully the week after. I am excited for a new venture and a new beginning. Hopefully, this is the last job I will need to ever apply for.

On another note about making it in the north, I want to wish my future sister in law and her fiancee, Lori & Matt, the very best of luck back in Whitby, Ontario as they left from Kugluktuk, Nunavut after a year and a half. They were coaxed to come up by us last year and had the opportunity to experience the north with us. They did exceptionally well and enjoyed themselves but are very happy to be home. I hope Matt has a good game tonight as he is back playing with his recreational hockey league team, The Mighty Pigs. Looking forward to seeing you both this summer in Newfoundland when we all four of us get married in July!

One last note of recognition goes to my blog readers. I have no idea who some of you are, as many do not post comments and this is perfectly fine. But I definitely want to thank you for taking time out of your lives to stop by and read my blog postings. Not much point in doing this if no one is reading it really. My tracker at the bottom tells me I am close to reaching my first 1000 visitors. That is exciting for me being new to blogging. To the Nunie Award nominees, I wish you all the best of luck as the results are still pending.

Till next time...

Nutrisystem, Tower 200, Elliptical, WeightWatchers & Hope.

With the Christmas season done, and the new year set in stone, the time is long over due for this fat boy to drop the pounds once & for all. With a bevy of weapons under my wing I am well prepared to say the least to loose enough weight for me and a small army of men. Have my fiancee and I over done things by loading up on all these tools?

I do believe this could work if well played. Nutrisystem. Our first ever order arrived yesterday. Two giant boxes with a month's worth of food for us both. Upon getting the boxes home we opened everything up and were surprised...stunned...maybe a little shocked at what 'portion control' really is all about. My God man, have we been so blind as to not really know what a normal portion of food considered one serving is?

The packages are small, thin and frighteningly light. How does one survive on such small amounts of food? Is this not NASA space food? Hamburger patties you immerse in water and watch it grow like those coin dispensed toys you soak in water for 24 hours as it gets bigger. Chicken salads already made for you in a package that feels like goo inside as you squeeze it in curiosity. The cereals are petite but the cookies look great. The price we pay to loose weight is unforgivable at times and I feel like it consumes us like wildfire sucking up oxygen to survive.

The Tower 200. Body by Jake. Endorsed by Randy 'The Natural' Couture, this single piece of equipment can totally transform you into a fighting machine. Ok, maybe not exactly as such, but will get you toned according to the reviews. It attaches to any door, is secure and by use of pulleys and bungee like cords gives you resistance in the form of 25, 35 and 60 pounds. For both arms/legs, gives you a total of 200 pounds of resistance. With over 200 different exercises to learn, it is a personal home gym.

Our Elliptical gives us our biggest hope in fighting the weight bandit. Making use of this machine is crucial. With less than 6 months left till we leave to marry, we are hoping to motivate each other. I'll keep ya posted folks.

Sham Oww!

Well good day to you my fellow bloggers and readers alike. Being 3am in the morning here in beautiful downtown Rankin Inlet, with light snow blowing in the cold wind I find myself laying wide awake as my fiancee snores up a storm of her own right beside me(rub it why don't ya sweetie). I decided sleeping is not my best quality as of late. I decided to get up and do the early morning routine that one does when facing this issue and make a bathroom run, a fridge stop along with a 'what's on t.v trip' and a final stop of 'who's online at 3am'. The first two went relatively well, the fridge stop was good for something cold to drink and the final check of the internet dealt me a blow. Let me take you back to your late night infomercials on T.V.

We have all seen em, watched em, talked about them amongst family & friends alike and even hated and liked them. Infomercials. Perhaps, you, like me, have even indulged once or twice to purchasing one of these 'As Seen On TV' products. I have been found guilty of purchasing such items as Dr. Ho's Muscle Massager (sends a ever soothing electrical pulse to the ab muscles creating the biggest idiot walking around with a velcro belt on, you!) or the Ab Doer, a chair that swivels around in many directions as you loose 1400lbs in just 30 seconds a day by sitting in a mini chair looking like a knucklehead just for buying the lamest product out there or perhaps you too have found the chills late at night so frustrating and just couldn't get relaxed all tangled up in that constrictive blanket that grandma knit for you which apparently according to the makers of Snuggie act like a straight jacket, or maybe you are deaf and need the Whisper 2000. This little tiny device looks like and resembles a Bluetooth wireless phone that attaches to your ear yet can deliver up to 9000 decibels just by cranking her up at full tilt so you can listen to birds, snakes, ghosts, farts, space transmissions or whatever the hell else they claim it can do. For you ladies, maybe you have bought the Bumpit from these late night scammers. A hair accessory for your hair that creates the illusion you worked feverishly for hours doing your hair and giving you the most ridiculous Wilma Flintstone hair look ever on your block.

Ok, so I am not saying that these products do not work, nor that they do work. And as I get off track here, let me take you back to what I am getting at. The Sham Wow. The Slap Chop, more precisely the man who endorses the product himself on TV, Vince Shlomi. The hyped up (probably coked out) endless ball of energy of a man who never seems to take one breath in between his sales pitch to us over the 'greatest products' on earth besides Rogaine and Viagra. Or was that sliced bread? Hmmm, whatever the case. Who is this guy? What's his background? Is he real or just an animated string bean who wears the best of what WalMart has to offer that week in T shirts? Well folks, get your cup of java ready, your favorite beer, your tastiest treat and let me lay it on you. I did the research on this clown. Here is the lowdown.

Offer 'Vince' Shlomi was born in Haifa, Israel on April 26th 1964. The man is a director, writer and a comedian. The first anyone ever seen of him was in 1999 comedy film called The Underground Comedy Movie which turned out to be a bust. He sued film makers saying that 14 scenes from the Farrelly Brothers film There's Something About Mary were adapted from his film Underground Comedy Movie. Shlomi also sued Anna Nicole Smith for breach of contract. He claimed that Smith agreed to be in Underground Comedy Movie, but backed out because she was afraid it would hurt her career. I didn't know Anna had a career. He is also a former member of The Church of Scientology, maybe Tom Cruise can teach him a few acting tricks? Shlomi apparently sued the Church for libel in 2004. I have not been able to find out what the outcome was of that.

Enter 2006. The infomercial was filmed in 2007. An absorbent towel he saw at a flea market which he dubbed, the ShamWow sparked the whole idea. The commercial was originally slated has having Vince saying the product held 20 times worth it's weight in liquid. Then re did the commercial saying it held 12 times it's weight, then finally re did to say it only holds really 10 times it's weight. Which apparently, ten is the most it can really adsorb. I won't get into any details of his second pitch, The Slap Chop for fear of my fiancee and her retaliation as she owns, well, not quite the Slap Chop, but a knock off which is deadly close to it in every way minus the name. And let's be honest, the couch sucks for sleeping on and she does read my blogs. With that said, let's move on shall we?

Here is the kicker folks...Vince, on February 7th, 2009 was arrested. Felony battery on a 26 year old prostitute. While in Miami Beach, FL while he was staying at the hotel Setai, an upscale $750 a night room where in the nightclub, he met Sasha Harris, 26 who accompanied Vince to his room. Vince admitted he paid Harris $1000 after she propositioned him for straight sex. Upon commencing of the kissing, she bit his tongue and wouldn't let go. Vince, being the nice guy he is obliged her by punching her several times in the face where Harris sustained facial fractures and lacerations all over her face at 4am. After releasing his tongue, Vince ran to the Setai lobby when the hotel security called for the cops to show. Turns out, Harris was not very cooperative with police and the cops says both parties reeked of alcohol. Bear in mind, Harris was also charged for battery on him. I have posted the actual copies of the police reports below.


Well folks, I hope this was as exciting for you to read as it was for me to type. I should be going I suppose, 4:30 am came quicker than I expected....now, what's on TV?

My Achey Breaky Back

Ok, ok....I know I been missing my blog updates as I was doing so well. I had some time out. I was doing night shift work for two and a half weeks which totally and utterly ripped up my sleeping schedule and my fiancee's. Threw off our holiday plans and left us feeling alone. Being on different time schedule's is not fun. Her and I found it hard to get used to making time for seeing one another. I ended up finishing my work doing night security between two hotels early due to throwing (I never threw it anywhere) my back out. Let me tell ya, if you have never experienced the wonderful friendship of pain and immobilization, you aren't living then. The fact I originally threw out my back three and a half years ago in Kentucky, US by participating in my own personal strong man competition was a stupid thing to do. That fridge weighed a lot! In any case, I reaggravated it last year in Kugluktuk simply by washing my hands leaning over the sink.

The pain strikes like lightening and brings a grown man to his knees. Then your laid up for a week. My sister in law to be also experienced this about a month ago. So once again, while shaving in the bathroom (why am I always in the can when this happens?) when it struck again. The trick is a couple of key things; ibuprofen 3 times a day, lay on your back on the floor with your knees up, and do 20 minutes of heat compress and 20 minutes of a cold compress. I also think my future mother in law would also suggest Gatorade. Good for everything that ails ya.

With my back feeling a bit better after 3 days, I am still careful not to do anything suddenly. Last thing I need is to be out of commission for an extra week you know.

On another note, six months from this day, my fiancee, Melissa Dunphy and I marry in Newfoundland and it couldn't come any sooner. With such little time left, we still feel there is so much left to do.

Life in Rankin Inlet is just fine. However, I find I do miss certain aspects of life from down home in Ontario. I miss my cats, Lexus and Casey. They are being well cared for and I am grateful for that. I miss driving. I don't yet have a vehicle in Rankin and I love to drive. I could drive for days straight. I miss Tim Horton's. I miss my friends. I miss my idiot brother's. I miss stopping at a garbage sale on someone's property to go through the shit they no longer want, but will try and sell to you. I miss saying hello to people in downtown Toronto only to have them give you the middle finger or tell you where to go. Yea, I miss those things.

Sorry I haven't blogged in a while, I will once again try to keep my ever so boring blogs updated more frequently as I once did. Hope your all having a good start to the new year everyone.

Till next time....

Brew Master & Late Nights

I have been exploring the wonderful world of brewing your own beer at home. The comforts of home. What better way to spend the holidays while awaiting for your favorite beverage to transpire right in the confines of your own home. Never having done this before, I have been extremely excited about the process. The process for the particular set up I have has been a hands off style. Not having to go through more than three steps makes it simple and so easy, 'Even a Caveman can do it'. Haha, I had to get that in there. Seriously, a caveman could do it. A self contained unit, your package of beer mix in powder form, yeast and water. There is your basic ingredients for what can yield you up to 28 beers in one shot in under two weeks.

I have enjoyed the beer thus far, I like that I can experiment with different tastes and colours of the beer. Alcohol content varies on the selection. The darker the beer colour, the higher the alcohol content apparently. That being said, I enjoy the lighter side of the mixes. The fermenting process is awesome, as you can literally see the beer create it's own natural carbonation from the natural fermentation process. In the fridge the beer will slowly loose it's haziness and become clear and bubbly and with a few shots from your CO2 cartridges, you can get that nice frothy head on a beer and keep your beer in the self containment unit fresh tasting with every pour!





On another short note life after CIBC has come and gone in my eyes. Now working the grave yard shift between the two local hotels here in town, The Siniktarvik Hotel which boasts 50 rooms (could be more) and The Turaarvik Inn which sees about 22 rooms, the management is worried about break in's. Lack of people in around the holidays working and staying at the hotels leaves it vulnerable. So for the next couple of weeks, I will be helping out these two hotels by doing late night security checks. Last night was my first on duty. It was lonely, but interesting somehow.

Lastly, Merry Christmas and have a very Happy New Year!

Eleven days to go until Saint Nick arrives. I've no chimney here. I do however seem to have some connection with the old Jolly man himself. Apparently, sent by Santa Claus himself, I kid you not on this, check the pic below...




....I know not how he got my address. I think it's amusing however. I assure you, I am not leaving a key out for anyone to gain access while I am sleeping. I don't care how jolly they are. Saturday night was a great night here at the Burton/Dunphy residence as we hosted a UFC 107 Fight Night. The fights were great, BJ Penn vs Sanchez as expected. Sanchez was a no show. Frank Mir was monstrous in his fight against Kongo which last well under 40 seconds. Thanks again to everyone who came and enjoyed the show.

Environment Canada, your weather predictions simply suck. You have now issued a 4th warning of imminent blizzard like conditions approaching Rankin Inlet. Deliver the goods or go home! Stop warning us, and tell us when it's arrived on our door step already. Your driving my fiancee up the wall who is begging for a snow day already.

Good night...

Good Times

Last night I got to chat it up with an old buddy of mine I used to work with polishing aircraft for AirCanada Jazz. It was really a complete debacle but nonetheless, this is what we did. Whether or not we maintained or mangled these poor airplanes is beyond me but I had a lot of fun doing it. It was good to hear from him as he has pursued the interesting and painful world of MMA. Mixed Martial Arts. I realized while talking to him that every moment is taken for granted. Time we spend with friends, loved ones and when we have a 'moment' in life, it all will pass and time will go on and one day you may never have that opportunity to enjoy life as it is happening right then and there. Trials and tribulations are all a part of life, and taken out of my buddy's book last night, we cannot go through life pissed off with everything, just take it for what's it worth. Thanks Stranix!

On another note, this whole volunteer firefighting position is becoming fairly lax. I was told by our instructor, that if more of us are not going to show up for weekly practices, some of us are going to face reprecautions. Hello! We volunteer! Are we to be fired from our volunteer positions?! This was a pretty ridiculous statement made but then followed up with, "This wouldn't happen in the south". Well, they also get paid in the south to volunteer my dear. So perhaps looking at another solution such as paying us to show would be your only option. Now, I show either way simply because I am interested in firefighting and always have been all my life. I could care less if I am paid for this particular experience. Although, I could very well use the money.

Lastly, this is the third winter storm watch Rankin Inlet has received in a month and I am really thinking this is either going to be a big blizzard as they say, or just another light dusting with a little blowing wind. How did you guys do over there Whale Cove?

Till next time....